We know that planning your wedding dance can feel a little daunting, and when you’re a same-sex couple, you might have some unique concerns. At The Groove Room, we’ve had the privilege of working with many LGBTQ+ couples, and we’re here to help you feel comfortable, confident, and excited about your first dance. Here are some common questions we get, along with tips and answers to make sure you have an unforgettable experience!
1. So, who’s the leader and who’s the follower in a same-sex couple’s wedding dance?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here! In same-sex couples, the roles of “leader” and “follower” aren’t defined by gender—they’re defined by who’s more comfortable taking on each role. Some couples may want to switch things up, with one partner leading the entire dance, or with both partners sharing the roles throughout the routine. It’s all about what feels right for you! During your lessons, we’ll help you both figure out what dynamic works best for you, and we’re always open to customizing the dance to reflect your style and relationship.
2. I’m trying to find a good first dance song. I want something that doesn’t have straight pronouns, but that isn’t totally off the grid. Any recommendations?
We hear you! You want a song that feels personal and represents your love while avoiding gendered pronouns. You don’t have to dig too deep to find a song that fits—plenty of mainstream tracks have neutral or LGBTQ+ friendly lyrics. Here are some ideas:
- “Real Love Baby” by Father John Misty – A beautiful, laid-back song about unconditional love, perfect for a relaxed first dance.
- “Just the Way You Are” by Billy Joel – A timeless classic about loving each other exactly as you are, with no need for change. A perfect fit for a genuine, heartfelt first dance.
- “How Long Will I Love You” by Ellie Goulding – A heartfelt and emotional song with lyrics that speak to the enduring power of love.
- “For You” by Angus & Julia Stone – A gorgeous, simple love song that isn’t gender-specific.
We also have tons of suggestions tailored to your personal taste and style! DM, email, schedule a phone call, reach out to us – we will be glad to answer your questions.
3. Will our dance teacher know how to handle all our needs gracefully?
Absolutely! Our team is experienced working with same-sex couples, and we understand how important it is for you to feel comfortable and seen throughout your journey. From the moment you walk into The Groove Room, we make it a point to listen to your preferences and work together to ensure that your lessons reflect the love and energy you both bring. We’re committed to creating a safe, inclusive, and supportive environment where you can feel free to express yourselves. You won’t just be another couple—we’ll design your dance experience to match your personalities and vision for your wedding day.
4. Still worried about the whole “lead” and “follow” thing that often comes up in ballroom styles?
You don’t have to be worried! A big part of our philosophy is that your dance should be as unique as your relationship. One thing that might surprise you is how easily you can switch roles between lead and follow during your dance, or even avoid defining who is the “leader” altogether. In certain dance styles, like Swing or Salsa, couples have been rethinking traditional roles by changing how they hold each other and taking turns leading and following. Our studio also had a trademark wedding dance style that is easily adaptable for those looking for a lead-neutral dance. For example, we can play around with the handholds, or take turns doing the same move, switching the lead and the follow every time. Sometimes this created a dynamic even cooler than the more typical choices. This allows you to move past the question of “Who’s taking the ‘man’s role’ and who’s taking the ‘woman’s role?’” and focus on what feels most natural for both of you.
5. We’ve never danced before. Will we be able to pick it up?
Yes! Whether you’re completely new to dance or have a little experience, we’re here to guide you every step of the way. The Groove Room is all about making dance accessible, fun, and stress-free. We work with you at your pace and create a supportive environment that helps you build confidence. Most couples are surprised at how much they can learn in just a few lessons! The most important thing is to enjoy the process and trust that you’ll feel ready to take on your first dance with pride and joy.
6. How do I make sure our first dance feels personal and authentic?
The key to a meaningful first dance is creating something that’s all about you. We’ll work with you to select a song that speaks to your journey as a couple, whether it’s an iconic love song or a completely unexpected choice. From there, we’ll customize the choreography to reflect the rhythm and energy of your relationship, so you feel free to be yourselves. Our goal is to create a performance that captures your love and your personalities, so when you step onto that dance floor, it’s like you’re telling your story through movement.
Tips for Feeling Secure and Confident:
- Be open about your preferences: Don’t hesitate to tell your instructor exactly what you want from your first dance. Whether you’re nervous about being in the spotlight or you want a high-energy performance, communication is key.
- Go with what feels right for you: There’s no one way to dance—let your connection as a couple lead the way. Whether you choose a traditional waltz or an upbeat contemporary routine, it’s about what feels comfortable and joyful.
- Remember, it’s about the moment: Your first dance isn’t about perfection—it’s about celebrating your love and your partnership. Enjoy the moment, and remember that your guests are there to support you and cheer you on.
At The Groove Room, we’re committed to making your first dance a joyful, memorable experience that reflects your love and your journey as a couple. We celebrate love in all its forms and look forward to being part of your wedding day. Ready to start planning your first dance? Get in touch with us today!